Information about Depression

For many people, living with depression is a fact of life. It is not a new condition – it has been around for thousands of years, as have various theories about why it occurs and how to deal with it.

We now have masses of research and scientific evidence about it’s different forms and variants, such as Clinical Depression, Bipolar Disorder (manic depression), Post Natal Depression and Seasonal Affective Disorder, and also about associated conditions such as Anxiety. Much of this is readily available on the internet.

Symptoms of Depression

A person who is generally depressed is likely to experience some of these symptoms: feeling tired with no energy, persistently sad and low, loss of confidence and self esteem, having a sense of helplessness and hopelessness, avoiding things they enjoy - especially if these involve other people, difficulty concentrating, difficulty sleeping, feeling guilty or worthless, frightened or anxious, losing interest in food, or sex, eating for comfort, aches and pains, or other physical symptoms too. He or she may even have thoughts of and talk about suicide. However, individuals go through depression in their own unique way, so the list above is not exhaustive. Also, it is thought that men and women experience and deal with depression differently.

You may not realise that it is Depression

You (and your partner) might not realise that he or she is depressed for some time, because it can creep up slowly, coming from some sort of 'shift' or change deep within. There may be no obvious reason for this, and you will probably think that he or she is just being 'awkward' or grumpy, and that this is "Just how they are."

Sometimes though, depression can come on suddenly. This might be because of a traumatic or stressful event - although the reaction to this may not manifest till later. Either way, it is important that  your partner sees the doctor in the first instance to eliminate other reasons for their symptoms, such as an illness or infection or the effects of any medication that they are taking.

Some people are depressed for physiological reasons, so it is important to find the root cause. An under-active thyroid gland can be responsible for one of the classic symptoms of depression - that is (for some people) weight gain. Steve Bishop (speaking in the video to the left) put on 5 stones in one year.

One of the key things to understand is that the experience of depression is all-consuming and overwhelming. A person cannot just 'pull themselves together and snap out of it', no matter how much they would like to.

It can be incredibly stressful for you when your husband, wife or partner is depressed, and you will experience a whole range of emotions. These can include worry and confusion, guilt, anger, hurt, resentment and loneliness, but also love and hope. Your life may not have changed in other respects, but your relationship will be different (because of the depression) – and that feels scary.

So whilst coming to terms with the emotional roller-coaster that you find yourself on, you have to cope with the unhelpful behaviour and demands of your depressed partner, as well as dealing with your own often busy life. You need to look after yourself, or you may become depressed too.

Woman's Hour, BBC Radio 4: Caroline talking about living with a depressed partner

You may also be interested in some of the articles, comments and items about depression on my Facebook page too.

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